Finding Self After Letting Go: Discover Your "Heart Threads"

When we let go after a relationship break up, we have an opportunity to see ourselves in a new light! The final stages of letting go can lead us back to reconnect to the true essence of who we are: our souls. We have the chance to see that we have evolved; we're not the person from our past anymore.

However, it's important that we own up to our role in what happened. We'll achieve clarity once we can see OUR part in the past.

Journal Exercise: Past-Self Review: Discover Your Heart Threads
Set aside some time when you are feeling relaxed. Light a candle to set up the sacred space for you to honor your self. Have a journal or paper ready to write your thoughts.
Place your hand over your heart. Close your eyes and take a deep breath. Now, bring to mind and heart those past memories when you were in the relationship. Review those events and ask yourself:

• What did I like/not like about myself?
• What did I want (or wish I had)/didn't ask for?
• What personal needs did I have/didn't ask for?
• Compare who I am now with who I was then
• Reflect on the "gifts" (what I learned)  (using a new perspective)

Get to the heart of who you are now.

Find the common thread of those personality traits that remain in you today - those parts of you that you have held onto are what I like to call "heart threads."  For me it was recovering my love for photography after my divorce. When you find a big thread (of who you are), when you tug on it, the thread will lead you back to the full essence of that part of you inside your soul. It could be your sense of humor, your passion for running, a hobby or an outlook on life. Remember those parts of you that have stayed strong and steadfast. Let that lead you to the other parts of you that you had neglected. Maybe it was a gathering with friends once a year you forsook to accommodate your girlfriend.

---

Feel empowered by this exercise. Sometimes you will come across memories from your past to help you realize a heart thread (a deeper sense of who you are). Now go back and reclaim those parts of you that you lost or gave up along the way due to your relationship. Was there a spiritual belief/sense inside you that weakened or disappeared? Did you let your relationships with friends or family members slip away? Did you stop going to the gym? What needs do you still have today that you have forgotten about? What's most important to you? Write these thoughts down and follow them until you reach some of your own answers.

Decide or declare that these parts of you are very much a part of who you are and too significant to ever let go of again.