Maybe this is where you are now: A broken heart. You may be feeling like you don’t want to tune into your heart because it’s too painful there. You’re heartbroken to the point where it literally feels like your heart has been shattered into a million pieces. As difficult as this may seem, this is the place to start. If you don’t heal your heart, what do you have left? You may rationalize that you still have your mental capacity because after all, your brain is working pretty well. Okay, but wouldn’t you rather get to a point where you can enjoy life again—when getting up in the morning isn’t a chore, but rather a new day to look forward to?
By giving your heart some of your loving attention, you can begin to heal and feel better. Whatever has happened, you will reach a point where you want to pick up the pieces and start over again. I know it can seem unbearable . . . believe me when I say I do. After my divorce, my life was torn in half. My situation included caring for a newborn and two young sons with a newly broken heart and no family in the area to help me out. But I learned, and so will you, that it takes baby steps. It’s a process of orienting your life towards feeling good again inside your heart.
First, be gentle with yourself and treat yourself with loving kindness. Act as if you would to your own children or precious pet. Give yourself compassion and take care of your needs during those times when you can. I remember there were days when the minute my kids hit the school grounds, I couldn’t wait to get back to bed and hold myself for a while.
Get some breathing space by using perspective. I found I could feel a little better if I reminded myself that I was not alone, that there were other people going through this too. And I could feel a little better if I could imagine a brighter future, whether that be a few days from now or a year from now. In the middle of the night, there were times when I looked to the night sky; focusing my attention on the moon and the stars, helped me to remember my place in the world. Most importantly when you have a broken heart; choosing to put it back together will begin the healing process so that you can feel good again.
The emotional support I received from family and friends helped, but ultimately it was me and the choices I made to give myself love that turned things around. To help you incorporate this concept, Chapter Three will go deeper to help you to build your heart back together again. You will realize the benefits of having a loving relationship with yourself. For now, simply build your awareness.
When we stop and tune into our heart, we are coming back “home” to re-connect with our spirit. It may feel very awkward at first—after all, your heart has been hurting for a while. It will take some faith in your ability.
Excerpt from, Croley, K.M. (2014), A New Leaf; 12 Spiritual Truths for Starting Over.
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