2020: The Year of Grief

Certainly we have all experienced grief this past year, in some shape or form.

Here we are in December, the end of the year and you might be reviewing (as I am), the previous month's experiences. It's timely. Next month we start a new year with hopefully a better outcome. 

Traditionally, the New Year has brought hope for fresh starts and new motivation. However, this one will contain a bit of lackluster. COVID0-19 is still running rampant and our governments are implementing lock downs. We don't know how long this will last. 

A solution is close at hand.

Can we manufacture our own light at the end of the tunnel? Despite all of the unknowns?

Can we spark our own fire from within to help us feel driven to move forward regardless? (WIth whatever means available)

Sure we can, but first things first. Sorry I am not going to be your cheerleader. At least not at this point.

First, we need to feel our feelings. Letting a sob or two or three happen, is our best way to break out of this awful year. I say this with great confidence, because I know by personal experience. Each time I let myself go - release - the tears . . . I feel like I have unloaded a big weight heavy on my heart. So naturally I feel lighter and more capable of moving forward. You will too!

HOW? I know, I have been there too. We have stuffed those feelings to the point of gaining extra pounds, having too many glasses of wine, or what have you. How do we go there and shed those tears when we are so used to stuffing our feelings?

Here are some tips for releasing those tears:

• Music! Listening to music, we will naturally feel into a certain song and before we know it our heart is throbbing and out goes a much needed sob.
• Showers! There is definitely something about standing under a spray of water that facilitates a good leak from within. Maybe it's the element of water (it does trigger our emotional body) and maybe it's the sound (consider tranquil fountains or gushing waterfalls) . . . It does the trick!
• Movies! Watching a sentimental scene catches us off guard because we aren't expecting our hearts to swell up and burst. When it happens, urge it on! "That's it, you big beautiful heart, let it out ...." 

Keep in mind, that holding compassion for yourself is essential. In other words, no self- bashing self critique like, "What is wrong with me? I thought I was over it! This is rediculeous, I am so embarrassed!" These statements need to be banished from your psyche. Because saying them to your self or out loud will stop the tears or the flow. The object is to let it go, and so being your own best friend at this time is necessary to help the release.

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